I started my island hopping when I landed on Koh Tarutao, which is paradise indeed. Unspoiled, beautiful beyond description, and full of thievin' ass monkeys. I am ending my trip on Koh Phuket, which is not paradise. Phuket is, as my Thai songtheuw man assured me, Koh Farang. The Island of Foreigners.
Even at the height of tourist season, Bangkok can swallow the tourists that flock there. The city is so big, and so essentially Thai, that except for the temple and palace area, farang slip into the background. Not so in Phuket. It feels like the Thai people are outnumbered here. Get anywhere near a beach and that feeling is transformed into a reality.
I went to Kata Beach today, an easy songtheuw ride, costing 35 baht instead of the hundreds of baht that the Phuket taxi mafia would have charged. I have to admit, if you want to see a great deal of european decolletage, this is the place to do it. Unfortunately, large european men in very, very small bathing suits are also in constant view. There seems to be a inverse correlation between the girth and hirsuteness of males on the beach, and the size of the tiny fabric covering their bits. I was truly horrified when I saw a barrel-chested specimen sauntering down the beach wearing a thong, a valley girl's thong, Sisters and Brothers, disappearing up the crack of his ass. Attached to the front of this thong was a little fabric bag wherein his manly bits resided, thankfully partly shielded from view by his very large and monkey hairy belly. It was as if a small bunch of grapes were cradled in a tiny sack, overhung and shadowed by a great, white, hair-covered melon.
Farang, farang and more farang. After taking in as much as I could bear, i drifted back over the hill to Chalong, certainly not village Thailand, but a deal quieter and with noodle shops instead of pizza joints and Club Med (yes, a real live club med).
Sent from the Lair of the Flying Monkeys
Even at the height of tourist season, Bangkok can swallow the tourists that flock there. The city is so big, and so essentially Thai, that except for the temple and palace area, farang slip into the background. Not so in Phuket. It feels like the Thai people are outnumbered here. Get anywhere near a beach and that feeling is transformed into a reality.
I went to Kata Beach today, an easy songtheuw ride, costing 35 baht instead of the hundreds of baht that the Phuket taxi mafia would have charged. I have to admit, if you want to see a great deal of european decolletage, this is the place to do it. Unfortunately, large european men in very, very small bathing suits are also in constant view. There seems to be a inverse correlation between the girth and hirsuteness of males on the beach, and the size of the tiny fabric covering their bits. I was truly horrified when I saw a barrel-chested specimen sauntering down the beach wearing a thong, a valley girl's thong, Sisters and Brothers, disappearing up the crack of his ass. Attached to the front of this thong was a little fabric bag wherein his manly bits resided, thankfully partly shielded from view by his very large and monkey hairy belly. It was as if a small bunch of grapes were cradled in a tiny sack, overhung and shadowed by a great, white, hair-covered melon.
Farang, farang and more farang. After taking in as much as I could bear, i drifted back over the hill to Chalong, certainly not village Thailand, but a deal quieter and with noodle shops instead of pizza joints and Club Med (yes, a real live club med).
Sent from the Lair of the Flying Monkeys
I'm confused. You spent way more time describing the Hairyman's bits than on the curve of the gentler gender. That's just wrong. Better come home before more excitement starts.
ReplyDeleteThe Decolletage was lovely, but self-explanatory. The Hairyman bits were so grotesque as to require comment. I was not in any way drawn to them, except in horror. Train wreck syndrome: I simply could not look away, even when desiring to do so.
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